blowback jabcomix

I only want you to see my favorite part of me, and not my ugly side.

Today there were more demons. In the grass as I stood outside smoking. Smoking usually calms me. It brings me focus. Grounds me. I use that term a lot. Grounding. Pain grounds me. Smoking grounds me. One special person grounds me. Keeps me rooted in reality. Avoids the distractions. Thatapos;s what it comes down to. Surviving in a world of distractions. One of my friends described my life as a mild acid trip and told me I should just enjoy it. Its a little more complex than that.

Or maybe its just that simple.

Iapos;m left home alone tonight. My brother and his wife have gone to grandmaapos;s house to pick up the kid, leaving me to decide how to feed myself and take care of me. I should feel glad that I get some time alone, but instead I have to wonder what I will do with myself. Iapos;ll probably go get some fast food for dinner. Something wholly not good for me. Our microwave is broken, so I canapos;t heat up any leftovers. I donapos;t think we have anything that I can throw in the oven either. So it looks like there is a journey in my future. Ah, the excitement. Iapos;m on the edge of my seat. What will I eat for dinner? Wow. Thrilling.

A brief bout with a razor blade cut me. I freaked out thinking people didnapos;t love me. I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me. In letting go I am so proud of what Iapos;ve done.

The desire to burn this thing out of my hand has returned. Iapos;m not sure what I should do about it. Or if I should do anything at all. Waiting it out seems to be working fine. Then nothing ever happens. I guess thatapos;s good enough. All I can ask for is apos;good enough.apos;
blowback jabcomix, blowback magazine.